Once or twice a year, Suge Knight will raise his ugly head and end up getting media coverage. Although I already know the answer to the question I’m about to pose, I’ll just put it out there for the sake of conversation: Who the hell invites this guy to parties anyway??? Answer: Nobody. Suge invites himself.
I’ve personally seen it happen. No passes, no tickets, no name on the guest list… but Suge and his boys will punk door security, walk right in and DARE a muhphucka to say something to them. Now that right there is called intimidation! This dude is just bad news all the way around and I wish they could find something on him to keep his ass in jail for eternity. By the way, isn’t he on his sixth strike?
I know poor little Kevin Connolly (Eric or “E” from HBO’s Entourage) wishes Suge’s big ass was in jail last week instead of being at the after party for the ESPY Awards. According to the New York Daily News’ Ben Widdicombe, partygoers saw Suge and Kevin “playfully wrestling” with each other and in the midst of this, Suge takes a bite out of Kevin’s finger. WTF?! A witness said that Kevin was “bleeding everywhere,” but he reportedly played it cool, acting as if it was okay that a six hundred pound psychopath just took a bite out of his hand.
Wow, this guy gets props for handling the situation with a cool head… or maybe he was in shock! I know one thing, you would have to look far and wide to find a black dude that would have been messing around, wrestling with Suge’s ignorant ass in the first place. I can just picture it now…
Suge: Hey pahtna, wanna wrestle?
Black Dude #1: (making the sound of a cell phone ring with his mouth) Who me? Uhh nah man, damn… I would, but I just got a call.
-Black Dude #1 hastily makes his way to the emergency exit
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Next, Suge approaches Black Dude #2
Suge: Sup nigga, wanna wrestle?
Black Dude #2: (pretending to hear an announcement off in the distance) Did I just hear them say they got chicken at the table???
-Black Dude #2 runs for his life
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Suge approaches the Black Dude #3, who was just standing next to Black Dude #2…
Suge: Yo nigga, let’s wrestle.
Black Dude #3: (whipping his sunshades out of his pocket and onto his face) Man, I used to wrestle all the time until a freak accident left me blind in both eyes. Sorry man.
-Black Dude #3 stumbles away with his hands out in front of him pretending to feel his way through the crowd
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This shit would continue to go on until there were no more black people left in the spot… just white people, because they’re always oblivious to danger lurking in the shadows.
Come to think of it, that’s probably how Kevin got caught up!
And even more proof this NIGGA doesn’t know how to conduct himself around human beings and just have a good time… check him out in this video from a party:
4 comments:
I swear, Suge & R. Kelly are the most jail avoidingest nnnnn's in the world. Has Suge gone to Mike Tyson's School of Handling Things (bite a MF)??
LMAO@the visual. Kevin Connolly trying to play it off is hilarious!
You know what? This a**hole is the worst! He is beyond reachable and a waste of space. He shouldn't even be allowed to breathe the same air as us. Why is he still out running around biting, threatening, harassing people? That video of him dancing with that girl shows just how worthless he is. I pray that he doesn't have children. The thought of him influencing young minds is scary! If they can't put him in jail, I won't say what needs to happen, but he needs to just disappear!
Okay, the three scenarios with the Black men getting away from Suge (did someone just say they had chicken at the table? LOL) are HILARIOUS!!!! Speaking as someone who has had to make a run for it from Mike Tyson, I know that you got to IMPROVISE!!!
Ahhh. . .but here is my question: does this nigga really have money anymore?? I thought he declared bankruptcy about 5 years ago.
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